Saying "yes" to too many things coupled with waiting until some unparalleled level of excellence is reached on a project or promise, are challenges that face a lot of women. The two are the cause of overstretched and stressed out lives that are uncontrollably out of balance, and result in the slow and painful death of visions -- of doing what truly brings us to life -- because there is no time, there is no pleasure left in our hearts to make it happen. Here's my current story and what I did to keep myself from getting sucked into that pit.
Earlier in 2008 when I was getting the Emma Says podcast site ready to go "live" it took me much longer than I had expected. Given that I was producing 5-minute podcasts, and already had all of the equipment as well as a content map laid out for a 12-month period, you'd think it would have taken me a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and not the 5 months it actually took. Yeah, one might have thought! I certainly figured it'd be quick. But here are two reasons why it wasn't -- multitasking and perfectionism -- two huge time wasters!
Yes, I'm a multi-tasker - a person with wide interests who gets lured into something (other than the important "something" I'm working on) the instant it catches my eye.
Here's how it goes. On my non-client work days, I work on The Women's Edge in Leading projects -- articles, webinars, or whatever. I'll be moving right along, convinced I'm making great progress, when I'll open my browser to do a search or to check out a web reference or whatever. But the news story on my Yahoo! page grabs me, and before I know it, a half hour has slipped away. Well, sometimes it's only 5 or 10 minutes, but that departure has thrown my concentration completely off track.
To help get myself back on task, I might do some deep Yoga-type breathing and then go make myself a chai latte. And woopsie, another half hour gone! Maybe more. Depends on how caught up I've gotten in the deep breathing space, because often that spins off into meditation or even full-blown Yoga sessions, with change of clothes and all!
Okay, so once fully relaxed and refocused, I start again. This time I attempt to stay away from the Internet. But then I check my email because the extroverted side of me craves contact. I begin to plow through the messages. There are many. Too many! I'm overwhelmed. I think I can't put them aside and I start answering the cyber notes. Or I check out a link that someone has sent me, again, because it looks interesting. Ohhh, wow, I'm back on the Internet. How did that happen?
And before I can say "Stop!" an hour or two have flown by. And well, it's now mid-afternoon and my brain's a little fried, so I grab a snack, stretch my neck, and finally decide to put that "important" project I'd been trying to get back to aside until the morning, "when I can be fresh and alert." Yeah, right. "Bye bye" to that and "Hello" to some new interest I've got on the burner. And the story goes on...
And then there's the perfectionism...
My need to have things look and sound good (yes "perfect") before anything goes before the public eye. It's been a problem since childhood. I'm the daughter of Mr. Perfection. Lovely man, my father. He didn't push his personal need for excellence on me, but I picked it up anyway. I
'm not alone. Research shows that girls learn early that they should be perfect little beings. For the past century there have been thousands of books and articles on how to the perfect wife, lover, mother, daughter, friend, how to have the perfect body, how to get the perfect man (of course you have to be the perfect woman to snag the perfect guy). Agh, the list goes on! I just noticed a product today while I was taking one of my side trips to the Net called "Perfect Woman Breast Cream." Yes, it's all about making them bigger. Part of getting that perfect man I suppose. Does it ever end???
The Impact. How this impacted by work on the Emma Says project. You can see how the multi-tasking thing can easily get in the way -- distraction after distraction, leaving me little or no time to work on what's important to me because I've wasted so much time on the unimportant stuff that I've lost my energy and enthusiasm for what (ostensibly) means the most to me.
here's how that perfection syndrome crept into my work as I was getting The Women's Edge in Leading site up. I woke up one morning realizing that these 5-minute weekly audios are really just a small part of a MUCH BIGGER undertaking - a whole cyberspace learning environment for women - under the umbrella of The Women's Edge in Leading portal. Yes, no more would I hold just the occasional in-person gathering of women; it would be the learning environment I'd envisioned from the start. It would be the "perfect" portal. Well good news on the idea itself, but bad news for the launch of The Women's Edge in Leading (formerly Hairpin Turns for those of you who have known me for some time). Would I now need to wait until ALL of it was ready? What was that about?
So the day I got this epiphany, I started mapping out the entire Internet-based mega launch of The Women's Edge in Leading - the web site, format, articles, webinars, assessments, interviews, products, resources. You name it and it was in there. I convinced myself that this expanded project was the only way to go and I put up a rudimentary site. I changed the major launch date from March to June. I figured that by June 1st, I'd have the whole women's site revamp ready. Hmmm, a little too ambitious maybe?
Well, when June 1st arrived, was the new site ready for prime time? No it wasn't. But here's what was…my weekly podcasts, and that's it. I didn't wait for the perfect launch because I'd decided to launch in increments and that's exactly what I did. In July I launched the podcasts -- an interim site until the main site was ready. And in November, The Women's Edge in Leading came to life with its new look and content. In fact, it was/is everything I had envisioned and then some. And all because I balanced my need to multitask and my need for perfectionism with a healthy dose of reality. And that's what worked.
How I Changed My Ways.
I took a long look at myself and my process and saw that both the multitasking and perfectionism were linked to fear. The multitasking extravaganza that I'd get caught up was procrastination disguising itself as "relaxation" or "broadening my learning". And the "wait until it's perfect" syndrome was yet another let's-put-it-off behavior. And their link to fear? Plain and simple. "Will it be good enough?" "Will I look like an idiot" "Will anyone actually learn anything from what I'm putting out there?" "Will it get read?
So what I did was I moved the 1000 pound gorilla from my creative doorstep. I put some balance in my life -- a little multi-tasking, a little relaxation on perfectionism -- not too much on either one that I'd wonder who was living in my body, but enough to give me the space, the mindshare, to create and deliver on what I wanted most. And I did it by using the same advice that I offer to my clients.
About Multitasking...
I set up a work plan at the end of every day for what I planned to accomplish the next day, right down to the time I anticipated it will take to complete each item on the list. I didn't pack in too much and I left some wiggle room for my forays onto the Net and for reading and responding to email. To this day I have stuck to this plan and it continues to work beautifully.
I put a workout/blissed out schedule in place by working out/doing Yoga in the morning BEFORE I started work and meditating at night before going to bed - so that it took place AFTER work.
I arranged a support system with my MasterMind partner (yes, I have one. Works great. I highly recommend getting a colleague/friend or whomever to partner up with you for your personal support system). I told her what I'd be delivering on and when, and then either talked with her or sent a note at the end of each week outlining my progress. Having someone you've agreed to check in with is always a great way to keep on track.
About Perfectionism...
I took a close look at myself. First off, recognizing that perfectionism (or whatever else might be standing in your way) is the show stopper is the first step. Awareness first, action second.
I made a conscious choice and stuck to it. I made a choice to relax about it. I mean, what's the worst case if the website for the podcast still needed back-end work (that, by the way, no one could actually see). And what if the color on the header wasn't the exact green and couldn't be changed for a week. Would anyone, except me, ever notice that? Oh, I doubted it. Funny thing about conscious choice - if you're choosing for yourself (and not because someone else thinks you should), it's a lot easier. So I made a choice to have it all be alright. And then I did some deep breathing and a little meditation to seal the deal.
Follow-up. My weekly podcasts came to life on June 9, 2008. The launch of the early website came a month later -- the interim site while the major overhaul of The Women's Edge in Leading site was taking place. And now that vision, that epiphany, that I awakened to many many months ago came to life in November and the new, totally overhauled site complete with just about everything I had envisioned for that first phase launched in all it's glory! A vision realized. I could not have done it without my plan on the two fronts..multitasking and perfectionism.
I still multitask, but it's under control. And I still like perfection, but I'm finished having it hold up my visions. I no longer wait for flawlessness; because that state just doesn't exist in my world. Balance prevails!
(C) 2009 Denise Brouillette, San Francisco, CA. All Rights Reserved.
Denise Brouillette is the president of The Innovative Edge LLC and The Women's Edge in Leading.
