The case of the incredible shrinking woman...
Many women make themselves unseen, unnoticed, out of sight - yes, in a sense, invisible - every day, in every way, and in every business environment. Size isn't the issue; it's behavior. Many women laugh at themselves when they shouldn't, make self-deprecating comments, apologize way too much when it's not necessary, and in the case I'm about to describe, literally make themselves look and seem insignificant! Educational level doesn't matter. It happens in the highest professional ranks as well as behind the counter at the fast-food restaurants.
Here's something I observed a woman do when I was working with a group of people recently that brings this problem home.
I was meeting with a group of 12 in a glassed-in conference room. Anyone walking by could see who was in the room and what we were doing. On the glass doors hung two flip charts at eye level and separated by just about 2 feet. A rather small woman came to the door. She wanted the attention of someone in the room. And instead of placing herself between the 2 flip charts (as I said, there were clearly 2 feet of space, plenty big enough for a body) to motion to the person in the room, she slowly bent down below the charts, shrugged her shoulders to decrease her actual size, put her hand over her mouth, as if in apology, and meekly waved at the person inside the room whose attention she wanted to get. Yes, the incredibly shrinking woman! What was that about? It was all about apology. Instead of claiming her own space and owning what she came to do … get a message to someone in the room, she diminished herself in every way.
These unconscious body behaviors that some women engage in – stooping, shrugging, hand over mouth, meekly waving, and many more, all send a message…one of apology and invisibility. If you're doing anything like that, don't. It leaves people thinking that you don't count. And more and more we need to be making sure we DO count. In an economic climate where the best and the brightest are the ones who survive, those who demo the invisibility behaviors, while they may be great at what they do work-wise, will be left in the dust behind someone who consistently shows up as a leader, in voice tone, stance, and with word choice. They'll be the ones who'll survive the downturn.
