"Not far" when information is sensitive. A simple request  from a new peer, coupled with a compliment about the quality of your work, seems innocent enough. That is, until the information you've given him turns up in a high-level meeting your boss is at and he's taken completely by surprise. Another political faux pas! This is what can happen when a "yes" should have been a "no."

The Situation

Annie was just finishing up with a milestone report on one of her high-level, very visible projects when Josh, a manager in another group and a peer who's relatively new to the company, walked in and asked if Annie would email him her draft. “I'm curious,” he said, “…about the structure and content elements and I'd love to see an example of great report writing before I finish the draft of one of my own in a couple of weeks.”

“Sure,” Annie says. “Just don't publicize the contents to anyone; it won't be finalized for at least another week.” Josh assured her he wouldn't.

Two days later Annie gets a flaming email from Spencer, her VP, saying he'd just come out of a senior management meeting where he was blindsided by Alex, Josh's boss, who took center stage when he reported in to the group on the latest updates on Annie's project. Spencer went on to say that Alex finished with, “Josh clearly has got himself connected in on the right projects. Looks like I've made another great hire with him. Wouldn't you say so, Spence?”

“How the hell did you let that happen!!?” Spencer asks in his note to Annie. “Never let me get blindsided like that again, ever!” Annie was stunned.

Now what? If you were Annie, what would you do?

What We Suggest

Annie needs to do two things: 1. Clean up the situation with her boss; and 2. Smarten up in order to avoid this type of difficulty in the future.
 
Clean Up
Take full responsibility. Acknowledge the screw-up without a lot of story attached to it and without shrinking into an apologetic mess. Annie might say:  "Spencer, I screwed up. Apologies for putting you in that position. It was unwise for me to let Josh see an unfinished report, even though I had told him it wasn't finalized and specifically asked him not to publicize it. You can be sure that this will never happen again." 
 
Notice that the words "I'm sorry" are not used. Annie can say, "I apologize for..." or "Apologies for..." but starting with "I'm sorry" is less leader-like. In her apology, Annie needs to be more, not less, strong. She needs to indicate that she gets what she did and convey that she can be trusted in the future.
 
Keep it short and simple. There is no need for a long-winded explanation. That might serve to further annoy Spencer. Research shows that when too much is said, especially in the way of an explanation, it weakens the argument and the listener shuts the speaker out. For example, this would be adding too much:"Here's what happened. Josh came to my office and saw that I was working on the project report. He commented that he was getting ready to write his first project report and wanted me to email him my draft so that he could see what a good structure looks like. I wanted to help him out. I told him not to let anyone see it. He said he wouldn't. I'm angry with him for not keeping his word. And blah, blah, blah..."
 
What Should Annie Do About Josh?
It could be that Josh printed out part of the report, or left it on his screen, and Alex saw it in Josh's office. Harmless enough. Or it could be that Josh took it right to Alex. Annie will likely never know for sure. Of course, it does mean that the relationship she has with Josh is now somewhat tarnished. Can she trust him in the future?  Likely not, unless he proves, more than once, that she can. Annie will need to keep an eye on that situation.

If Annie chooses to talk with Josh, she might say it this way: "Josh, Spencer mentioned that in the senior management meeting Alex brought up specifics of my project report that only you and I had access to. That didn't look good for either of us. Do you know how that happened?"
 
Smarten Up
Think Beyond the Immediate. Had Annie thought beyond the immediate situation and taken in the broader picture, she might have asked herself these questions before giving a  quick "yes" to Josh.

1. "If I were Spencer, would I want this report to go out to anyone, for whatever reason, before I've seen it and approved it?" Likely answer? "No."
 
2.  "I doubt if Josh will hand it out, but how do I know? Also, email can be seen by just about anyone. So even if Josh keeps it to himself, how do I know that it won't inadvertently fall into someone else's hands?" Likely outcome when asking these questions is, "Don't do it."
 
Learn to Say "No"
If Annie said "yes" because she wanted to be a helpful peer, or because she was blinded by Josh's well-placed compliment, or because she likes being liked and respected, she still could be any or all of those by telling Josh that she can't send along anything that not only isn't finished, but hasn't been seen by Spencer yet.

She then could set up a time to talk Josh through the structure without sending him the report. Or, she could just send him an old project report.

(c) Denise Brouillette, San Francisco, CA.  All Rights Reserved. Reproduction without permission prohibited.